A foreigner in my own mind, a slave to thoughts of my past
I'm entering this treacherous trail
tattered, tired, and spent
ready to pass through to the other side
anger and rage telling me one thing,
and the shred of Holy Spirit that I have left
telling me another
Why do people lie, why don't they just tell the truth
Oh I wish I had the power
to extinquish the fires of my past and move forward
I do realize I can do nothing on my own
not even discern the intentions of my friends heart
and it hurts
It hurts when I can't talk to those I love most
about my woes
no one wants to cry with me, but rather they preach at me
as though, I am their wayward teenager
I miss life, I miss living
why can't things be the way they use to be,
but that wasn't really working either
I must go higher is what I'd tell myself, and this is higher
when does reality set in, I need my Friend
He will never leave me or forsake me, right
He will never leave me or forsake me, right
but how come I feel so lonely,
a stranger even in my homeland
I am searching for Your hand, hold me again
"How do you feel", they ask
and I think, "What do they want me to say?"
"Blessed and Highly Favored..." or some other churchy cliche
it feels like lies
sweet nothings reserved for religious people
Instead I ask, "can I be honest with you...
I am feeling kinda down
and instead of a fake cheese
can I show you my frown
but only if you promise not to shove your churchiness down my throat
as if I have been sleeping around, and hell is my home
for the record, I know Jesus too
If I show you my wounds
will you promise not to judge me or cast your opinions on me
like you know all things
